- Apple vs Microsoft
- Applying for your own job
Have them. Those above you are; just make sure that you're not as indiscreet as they are. In a business where inter-office sexual conquest is a key but unstated value you'll notice that there are a lot of off-site meetings to discuss 'progress' and 'plan' for the coming whatever period.
The real reason for this is that your seniors are having flings, or would like to, and a free night or two in a hotel punctuated by booze-fuelled dinners, easy access to bedrooms with husbands and wives miles away are the ideal formula for no-strings (hopefully) shagging.
There is little more disconcerting than going to an event where the hosts aren't drinking or finding that you can't go out with your boss and share a few home truths that neither of you will remember the next day. On the other hand, if you do remember them, due to the bonding that a massive intake of alcohol can induce, they'll more likely be acted upon than if they'd been shared (which they wouldn't have been) at a corporate Presbyterian fizzy water-drinking ceremony.
Whatever you do though, if you suspect that you cannot have a drink with becoming a mouthy, loud, insulting gobshite then give up drinking. If you can't give it up, retire and go and live away from other people. If a colleague behaves in this way, ostracise them.
Apple vs Microsoft
Apple devices tend to work in the same way that you would plug in a hair drier and switch it on. However, if you do have an issue, you will come across, if you can find anyone to speak to, a brittle organisation, which doesn't expect its clients should have problems with its equipment. If your Apple device goes wrong you need to make an appointment at one of its shops to speak to a 'Genius' who are trained to ooze disdain, even if they agree to see you. Of course this goes this against the tired old model of going back to the shop with a malfunctioning device and getting it fixed or replaced, but hey, Apple is cool so it can smack you in the face with your device if it wants.
If you're thinking of entering an industry award, don't. Though you might miss out on shagging someone who is really drunk during or after the ceremony.